Sex was made by God for married people but I know you are not ready to have that conversation😅.

So, during the course of the week, I ran into a post on twitter👇

I was interested in the comment section… because I just wanted to catch cruise😂. And I tell you it was hilarious. Someone commented

lmao…what’s that?🙄

Intimacy is usually lumped together with sex, but they can easily be independent of each other. According to Merriam-Webster, intimacy is defined as “a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.” Intimacy is such an important aspect of a relationship and it reaches so much farther than sex because sometimes sex isn’t just right or even possible.

I love the idea of getting creative with your intimacy and switching from the status quo. How many times have you found yourself mindlessly holding your partner’s hand?

Finding things that make you feel closer to your signifsignificant other, without the physicality can help in a big way. If sex is the only form of intimacy existing in your current relationship…oh well well🙃

So, here are ways you can be intimate without sex👇

1. Hold hands and give hugs

Holding hands with your SO is more important than it might seem. It makes you feel deeply connected to that person, even if you’re just walking down the street.

My significant other (SO) and I have always been huge on holding hands and hugging. If we’re walking somewhere unfamiliar he’ll hold out his hand to me to keep me close. If we’re just hanging out with each other, holding hands is a great way for us to show intimacy and indicate that we want attention.” There’s even science behind the power of holding hands. Oxytocin, also known as “the love hormone,” makes us feel happy and loved and is released when people hold hands. So next time you’re on a date or walking to class with your partner, take their hand. I am almost 100 percent sure you’ll both smile. Same with hugs.

2. Talk about what’s important…have deep conversations

A relationship that consists of shallow, meaningless conversations isn’t a healthy one. I’m not saying don’t joke or goof around. In fact, I joke around a lot…I’m all for cruise but at the same time I love deep conversations.

• If you’ve been following Big Brother Naija, you’ll know this is a problem in Kiddwaya and Erica’s situationship.

The greater the seriousness of the conversation, the more intimate the dialogue. Initiate a conversation where you and your partner discuss the things that matter to you most, growing up your goals for the future, what you are passionate about and the things you would like most from that other person. Understanding these things can help you feel closer to your person and help you discover things you didn’t know you had in common with your partner.

3. Offer your assistance with something.
Sometimes our actions speak louder than our words. There is a reason why ‘acts of service’ is included on the list of the 5 Love Languages. For me, it’s my major love language. Noticing the dishes in the sink and clothes in the laundry basket might be the first step towards letting your partner feel appreciated without having to say a word. But first, it’s important to know how to achieve that same feeling through acts of selflessness.

4. Try doing each other’s favorite activities
Chances are, while you and your partner have similar interests, there are probably a few things you don’t have in common. Take a day and indulge in some activities that your SO is passionate about and then have them do the same. This way, you can both understand each other’s passions, enjoy spending time together and make lasting memories. Bonding through shared experiences is a powerful form of intimacy.

Go see movies together or just do netfix and chill in the comfort of your home, go shopping together even if it is just ordinary market.

5. Trying something new together can be one of the best ways of feeling close to your partner.

Perhaps it’s something as mild as a baking class or as extreme as skydiving, sharing new experiences with your partner can be a great way of feeling intimate without the physical act of sex. Trying new things makes you both feel vulnerable and that can be simple, yet exciting!

6. Get spiritual

Have you heard of “a couple that prays together, stays together”?

This is a major thing. If you and your SO share a faith, use that to your advantage. Going to each other’s religious services together and reflecting on what you learned can build intellectual intimacy. Taking a few moments out of your day to pray for/think of your partner and their goals, struggles and triumphs will also strengthen your relationship, even if your SO doesn’t know about it. It becomes the framework for your entire relationship.” If you don’t share a faith or don’t identify with a specific one, try exploring different options together. It can tell you a lot about your partner’s values and how you two can fit together spiritually. However, ultimately the goal of faith is for it to be a personal connection. So while you may be sharing spiritual experiences with your partner, it’s important that you have a personal connection to your faith and you don’t believe in it just because your partner does.

7. Dance together.
If the people in my life were to list the things I do in my free time, dancing would undoubtedly be on the list. Not only is dancing a great form of exercise, but it can also be most intimate when shared with another person. Break out in dance within the comfort of your own kitchen, but either way, dancing can be one of the most effortless ways to feel close to your partner.

8. Play a game of truth or dare.
There is nothing sweeter and more romantic than honesty sprinkled with a little adventure. It doesn’t have to be an explicit game, but sometimes a little healthy competition with your partner can make the two of you feel closer. Try including a few things you’d like to try in the ‘dare’ category and things about your partner you’d like to know for the ‘truth’ category.

9. Give each other a massage.
You don’t need to go to a professional, but rather give each other massages instead. It can be so incredibly sexy to have that man or woman rub all the tension out of your neck and back. It could even be the feet. Make it even more intimate and leave clothing optional. Just don’t set any expectations of intimacy that surpasses a nice, relaxing massage.

10. Cook together.
There is something to be said about the couple that chooses to stay in and save the 5-course meal at the fanciest restaurant in town for another night. No 3-piece suits and cocktail dresses required. Just you and your partner in the kitchen, wearing your comfiest clothing, and teaming up to put together a delicious meal can be beautifully intimate. Not to mention it shows where your strengths are and allows for a foundation of teamwork while one of you cuts the peppers and the other works the stove.

11. Start a project.
Starting a project with someone is a silent way of showing your commitment to them. You are letting them know you want to create something together and that it matters to you that they are a part of the process in doing so. Not just your commitment, but it can rapidly alert you to the strengths of your partner and how he or she handles challenges as they arise.

It could be starting a business, buying a property together or even having a YouTube channel together.

12. Share your fantasies.

If you don’t do this, my assumption would be that you were too shy to bring it up. Do both of you the favor and take a moment to sit down and share your fantasies. You don’t have to fulfill them all right then, but it shows courage to open up and say, “I’d like to try this one day.”

As you can see, being intimate with your partner in more ways than just sex doesn’t have to be complex — it can be as simple as cozying up for a long afternoon nap. Regardless, by challenging your relationship to find romance in places other than just physical intercourse, you are introducing versatility to your affection. With endless ways of bringing back romance, you can seek solace in moments of tension much faster than if you were to strictly rely on ‘make-up sex’ to do the trick.

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Thank you for reading❤